


hold me tight or don't

by Story_Dragon



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Angst, Character death if you squint, Creepy, Dreams, M/M, idk how to tag this without spoiling it tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 04:52:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13942995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Story_Dragon/pseuds/Story_Dragon
Summary: //Dan stood up slowly, putting aside the tattered rag he’d apparently been sleeping under. He felt weak with hunger and thirst, and braced himself against a wall for support. What on earth was going on?“Phil?” He cried out faintly. “Phil where are you?"//Or, Dan keeps having these strangely realistic dreams.





	hold me tight or don't

Phil always fell asleep first. 

It was how it had always been, since the first time they slept together. Phil would drift off the moment his head touched the pillow. Dan was glad, it gave him a few minutes to watch Phil and contemplate on life.  
They had it pretty good, thought Dan. After 18 years without a best friend, Dan could now spend the rest of his life with one. They were happy, financially secure, and getting married next month. How lucky could two dorks get? As he too drifted off to sleep, Dan smiled to himself. He was happier than he’d ever been. 

\-------------------------

Dan was woken up by a sharp pang in his stomach. Hunger, more intense than he’d ever felt. He opened his eyes, and sat bolt upright in surprise. This wasn’t their house. Or -- it was, but a mutilated, abandoned version of it. The windows were broken, and drafts of air swept through the room. The furniture was ratted and torn, the lights were off and, most disturbingly of all, Dan seemed to be completely alone. 

Dan stood up slowly, putting aside the tattered rag he’d apparently been sleeping under. He felt weak with hunger and thirst, and braced himself against a wall for support. What on earth was going on?

“Phil?” He cried out faintly. “Phil where are you?

There was no answer. Another gust of cold wind blew in, chilling Dan to his bones. Even his pajamas were in a state of neglect, they were filthy, ratty and thin, providing next to no warmth. 

Dan made his way around the house, growing more and more panicked. Phil was nowhere to be seen, and the rest of the flat was in an equally bad state. Dan collapsed in what should have been their gaming room, trying to take everything in. This wasn’t a prank, and it didn’t feel like a dream. Whether this was real or not, Dan knew one thing for certain.

Nobody had lived here for a very long time. 

\-------------------------

Dan woke up to the smell of blueberry pancakes. He felt a bit uneasy, but couldn’t quite put his finger on why. He figured it was probably due to a dream he’d had, and went to join Phil in the kitchen. 

“Morning, Phil.” He said, wrapping his arms around Phil from behind. Phil jumped a bit, then turned around and gave Dan a quick kiss before pushing him away with a grin.  
“I love you, but please don’t sneak up on me when I’m in front of a stove.”  
Dan smiled at Phil, and tried to sneak some of the blueberries into his mouth. Phil shot him a Look.  
“Dan, I need those for the pancakes.” Phil shook his head in disapproval before grabbing a blueberry and throwing it in the air near Dan. “Catch!”  
Dan caught it in his mouth, to much applause from Phil. Dan shoved any remaining uneasiness into the back corners of his brain. Everything was great, he wasn’t going to let a dream he didn’t even remember ruin his day. 

As Dan watched anime and ate pancakes with Phil, he got the strange sensation that he was starving. That he’d give anything for a single bite of a pancake, let alone a whole one. Which was strange, because Dan had already eaten 3. The feeling passed, and Dan moved on with his day. 

That night, Dan snuggled up to Phil, who, of course, was already asleep. Dan threw his arms around the man he loved, and closed his eyes. Not even five minutes later, they were both sleeping soundly. 

\-------------------------

Hunger, gnawing insistently at his belly. Hunger, weighing him down like a dark cloud. A thirst, that clawed at his dry throat. Dan’s body shook, trembling as he slept on the cold ground in an empty house. 

He woke up dizzy and confused, disoriented by the hunger and sleep. He looked around in confusion, and horror filled his eyes as it dawned on him where he was. Back in this hell dimension, where everything was different and wrong, and Phil was nowhere to be found. Dan pinched himself, but nothing changed. All logic was telling him this must be a dream. He’d woken up yesterday feeling uneasy, and now, after going to sleep, was back here again. A recurring dream, that was all this was. 

Why then, was he so hungry? It felt so real. His body ached, his mind ached, and he was too weak to walk more than three steps without leaning against the wall. 

Dan thought back to the pancakes Phil had made them yesterday morning. They had been so good. He remembered watching anime while eating them. Only, as he pictured it, the memory changed. He remembered reaching for a pancake and grabbing something else. He remembered the taste of dirt in his mouth.

He could taste dirt in his mouth right now. Dan tried to spit on the ground, but his mouth was so dry. 

What anime had they been watching anyway? And what had they done next? Dan couldn’t for the life of him remember. This was the dream, but right now it felt more real than real life, and that terrified Dan. 

\-------------------------

There. Done. Dan clicked his mouse once, and his video started uploading. He was a bit nervous about this one, but after watching it through 5 times, and making Phil watch it twice, he’d finally decided it was good enough. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder if people would like it. Was it funny enough? He shook his head, trying to banish the negative thoughts. Phil thought it was good, and Phil wouldn’t lie to him. So it must be fine. 

Dan emerged from his room to find Phil putting on his shoes. 

“Where are you going?” He asked. He hadn’t thought Phil had any plans. 

“Just to the store, we’re out of cereal. Why did you think we had pancakes yesterday?” 

Dan grabbed his coat and slipped on his shoes. He figured he might as well come too, that would at least get his mind off the video. Phil gave him an understanding smile, and he and Dan left their house. As Dan closed the door behind them he felt a sudden wave of pain pass over him and he fell to the ground. Phil turned around, and hurried to his side.

“Dan? What happened?”

Phil’s words echoed in Dan’s head, and the world seemed to distort around him. Dan closed his eyes for a second, then looked up at Phil.

“Are you alright?” Asked Phil, panic and worry written all over his face.

“I’m fine, I think. Help me up?” Said Dan. He was still feeling a bit weak, but the pain had passed, and he was pretty sure this would too. Phil offered Dan his hand, who reached up to grab it only to have his hand pass right through Phil’s. 

Phil didn’t seem to notice.

Dan started to well and truly freak out. Had he imagined that? Was he going completely crazy? Dan looked down at his hand, and did a double take when he saw it was filthy, and bony, completely unlike his hands normally were. He looked to Phil in horror, but Phil was gone. Dan was alone on the steps to their house. Only, this wasn’t their house. This house had broken windows, and looked like it had been abandoned for a decade.

It was all coming back to Dan, waking up in the house alone, the hunger, the cold. He remembered wondering if it was a dream or not.

Then he remembered more.

He remembered going into the empty house, and collapsing onto the floor. He remembered flunking out of law. He remembered begging for food. He remembered pining over youtuber AmazingPhil as a teenager, leaving comment after comment. He remembered the war, and the death of AmazingPhil. He remembered everything going to complete shit, he remembered the shelters and the streets and the hunger and cold. He remembered being so happy to find an abandoned house he could camp in. He remembered everything.

Phil… 

They were engaged, in that other life. They had both been youtubers, living together, sharing a life. Phil had been perfect for him, just like he’d imagined as a teenager. 

Dan’s started to cry, his body shook and his eyes squeezed shut, but no tears fell. He was too dehydrated for tears. 

If only this was the dream. If only this was the dream, and not that other life. For a moment Dan saw it clear as day, the house filled with all their belongings, bright and warm and home. Then the vision faded and disappeared. Dan was alone. Completely, entirely, alone. 

Imagination is powerful. It’s why he’d initially like AmazingPhil. His videos were creative and wacky, not just run of the mill, ordinary stuff. Imagination is powerful, along with denial and loneliness. How long had Dan been going about life in this derelict house, thinking he was in a better time? Talking to air, or to the crumbling walls?

Dan wanted to go back. He didn’t care if it was all fake. How could he live a life without Phil? 

Dan pulled himself off the ground. He held himself up with the door, barely able to stand. His vision went blurry for a second, and he nearly fell down. 

Then Dan entered the house. 

There, in the middle of the room, stood a figure dressed in black robes. There was a hood obscuring his face. Dan blinked, and the figure was Phil. He was wearing a shirt with little drawings of Dan and Phil peering out of the pocket. He smiled at Dan, and made a hand gesture, beckoning Dan to come to him.

Dan walked forward slowly. He stumbled as his vision went blurry for a moment, and caught a glimpse of the figure in black robes again. When he righted himself and got a better look, Phil was back. 

He held a hand out to Dan.

Dan took it.

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclaimer, this fic was partially inspired by this Garfield comic: http://i.imgur.com/lAe0U.jpg  
> And yes, the title is from a Fall Out Boy song.   
> Please leave comments and kudos! I crave validation, and it means a lot to me.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
